Friday, April 18, 2008

eight weeks...one day...

yesterday, colin, you were eight weeks old. in three days you will be two months old. you are growing up so incredibly fast. it's hard to notice any of it on a daily basis, but last night when i was giving you a bath, your legs were hanging over the edge of your little seat/sling apparatus. i remember not so long ago when we were just figuring out the whole bath thing and you were being engulfed by EVERYTHING. now you are finally fitting nicely in your newborn clothes and soon will have to completely retire many of those for the 3 month, then the 6 month. i guess it sort of is a never ending parade of bigger sizes. at least for now anyway.

lately you have been greeting me when i get home from work. not only that, but i think you recognize me as well. when you notice me it is like your eyes are laser beams and i am like the death star or something. okay, maybe a bad metaphor. whatever. you get the idea. your eyes do not want to turn away. not even for a second. regardless of metaphor, i dig it. and i dig you.

also, tonight your mom and i watched juno. i don't think you'll be watching it anytime soon, but it's about this sixteen year old girl who gets pregnant and decides to give the baby up for adoption. anyway, lot's of stuff going on, but great movie. as i was watching it, and watching this mom, no matter how young she is, develop this connection with what was growing inside of her, i thought about you. i thought about every stage of your mom's pregnancy and how deep the connection runs between the two of you. and even for me. although i was sort of a bystander through much of that ordeal, i was still there for the ultrasounds and the kicking and the delivery itself. i created mixes for you before you were even born and started molding your musical mind before you could even open your beautiful blue eyes. and now you are here, more incredible than i ever could have imagined, and we've been right here every step of the way. juno does ultimately give her baby up, but there is air of bittersweet bliss as the new mother, who was unable to have children herself, is finally able to hold a child and call it her own. i don't know if all of these thoughts are anywhere near the director's frame of mind in telling us this story...i'm sure the target was much closer to the 16-22 year old crowd of suburban hipster kids...but as my life is changing and growing, i have perspectives and thoughts that i never even imagined i could have at any stage of life. and i love it.

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